Un-nog-ceptable: We revisit some bogs, nogs, frogs...and princes

I've reviewed a lot of weird foods over the last few years. Were there any keepers?

I’ve been under the weather for over a week, and there were a couple of days there where it felt like 6 feet under it, so I wasn’t sure what I could piece together for this installment of Zen and the Science of Candy Corn. It’s okay to take breaks, you know? Rest is a part of effort, as a very wise friend once told me.

I was all settled on not installing an installment, and focusing instead on what to install in my face for lunch. So, I made just the thing for the sniffles: Swamp Soup. Not the beautiful bowl shown up above, of course…ever since I made and reviewed Wishbone Kitchen’s viral recipe for TODAY, I’ve kept the veggie and aromatic base frozen in cubes for just such an occurrence, so that I can thaw a few out, add some broth and rice and protein, and savor my head off. Today’s bowl was not pretty, but it was delicious and nourishing.

This got me thinking — what other crazy stuff that I’ve tried had staying power? That is, what have I tried that I enjoyed enough to make at least one more time? There are quite a few! Here’s the rundown, in case you’re looking for a new bag:

My new go-to pancake recipe is Rosa Parks’ Featherlites. They freeze so nicely, and I love the extra protein. I often thaw one in the microwave, and top with a banana and extra nut butter for breakfast.

We’ve made Brad Prose’s Big Mac Smashburgers SO MANY TIMES. I often opt to use a black bean burger and corn tortilla myself. And just this morning I made a version of Grace Elkus’ yummy feta fried egg — I stirred chopped spinach, cherry tomatoes, and kalamata olives into a scrambled egg and made a kind of crispy-bottomed omelet thing — easy enough that I didn’t mind making it even though I’m not feeling my best.

I’ve made Molly Yeh’s marginally more reasonable version of a Minnesota tater tot hotdish several times since writing up Tim Walz’ viral winner, and I’ve had at least a metric ton of cucumber salad — the only person who may have contributed to the Icelandic cucumber shortage? The cucumber salad guy himself.

There are several we’ve seen fit to serve family and friends: Kassie Mendieta’s famous Olympic chocolate muffins in particular, but we’ve also made Claire Snyder’s pickles in cheesy blankets, the old newspaper recipe column two-ingredient mayo rolls, and Violet Witchel’s dense bean salad.

I haven’t made Nicholas Sparks’ 16-Splenda chicken salad again, but when I do, you can bet I’ll double the jalapenos, but hold the Splenda.

The one I love the most? No contest — it’s Jen Jones’ air fryer banana split. Y’all, that thing is transcendent with Icelandic Provisions’ Cold Brew Coffee skyr. There’s nothing you can do to make it not look like Darth Vader’s favorite snack, but it’s worth buying an air fryer just to toast one of those up.

What about the ones that may never darken my kitchen counter again? Gatorwine and McFlurry Hashbrowns weren’t bad, but I’m not going out of my way to make either one a second time…maybe they’d make a nice pairing for a nihilist weekend brunch?

The cottage cheese wrap was tasty, but waaaaaay too much trouble. Dirty soda, parmesan espresso martinis, potato milk, and Sprite lemon tea were all beverage duds in the never again category, but I liked Taylor Swift’s favorite French Blonde cocktail enough to make a mocktail version with some Bonbon elderflower Swedish Fish I had left over, and I have to admit the sweet potato macchiato looks like of amazing.

That short list of the shockers brings to mind a couple more, the shockiest shockers of all, because we liked them enough to serve to others despite the horrifying ingredient list (yes, we warned them): Hidden Valley Ranch Nog and Hellmann’s Mayo Nog. No one is more surprised than I am that these salad dressing Slurpees were such a delight.

Before you go thinking it’s just that I love egg nog in all its forms, let me in closing point your attention to the all-time losers on my list of favorite things to hate: Bud Light’s holiday hard seltzers. Both the Ugly Sweater Pack and the Fall Flannel assortment were some of the worst things I’ve ever had (so fun to pillory literally ad nauseum as you can read at those links above), and the worst of the worst? Seltzer Nog.

Worth buying an air fryer just to light one of those on fire.

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