Heaven Help Me: I tried vegan banana peel bacon

Banana peel? Like the peel? From a banana? Yes.

I’m not vegan. I am mostly vegetarian, but I’m a big fan of cheese, and let’s face it…I’m unwilling to give up Jell-O. However, it’s not at all unreasonable to be vegan. There are a lot of possible health benefits especially when based on whole and not processed foods, and although it’s not right for everyone, it doesn’t take too much attention to detail to get all the nutrients you need from a plant-based diet. And even if you don’t want to be vegan, incorporating some vegan meals is a great idea, nutritionally and entertainment-ly speaking. There are so many fascinating, beautiful, delicious vegan recipes from all over the world that you could try a new one every day and never run out.

But, whenever I talk to a client who’s thinking of going vegan, I usually suggest they try not all the recipes, but just one. See how you do with one, and make it a good one that uses techniques and foods you’re at least minimally familiar with. If it goes well, maybe try one a week, and then take it from there.

I’m also a big fan of low-waste cooking. (There’s a fantastic veggie cookbook called Root to Stalk Cooking, by Tara Duggan, that I’d love everyone to check out!) Cutting back on food waste and animal protein are two of the biggest things you can do to impact climate change, according to a conversation I had with Cornell Professor Michael P. Hoffmann, for a piece on whether Martha Stewart’s iceberg cocktail was as bad for the planet as it was for her PR. He pointed me to his book’s companion website, Our Changing Menu, and that’s another one to check out, for fascinating information about how the ingredients you love to cook with and eat come from, and how they are already being affected by climate change, in flavor or supply or quality. (It’s not all doom and gloom, I promise.) If you’re a visual person, there are some great charts from the UN here.

So what’s the perfect recipe to highlight a plant-based diet and reduction in food waste? Banana Peel Bacon!

Obviously.

Let’s try it! There are many recipes and TikToks singing its praises, even from people who were very skeptical. I’m optimistic.

First things first — is this safe? I make no such assurances. I’m not aware of any reason why the peel could be dangerous, but there might be one, although WebMD seems to think it’s a great idea. I will say that other primates often eat the peel with no apparent ill effects, and I chose to use an organic banana which I washed before preparing.

Almost all recipes say to use a very ripe banana, pull the peel into strips, and carefully scrape all most of the weird stringy stuff off of the inside surface. Then, marinate 15 minutes in various amounts of soy sauce or coconut aminos, maple syrup, smoked paprika, black pepper, and garlic powder, liquid smoke, and some say to add a little apple cider vinegar. I did use the vinegar, but I did not use the liquid smoke — it’s probably healthier than real smoked foods, but I don’t keep it around. I did use smoked paprika and hope that will be enough.

After marinating, you fry it in a little oil, turning halfway through, until it starts to develop bubbles on its surfaces. This must be done over medium heat, or the sugars will burn. It’s still limp after frying, but it does crisp up somewhat after it sits, as promised.

I will say that all the beautiful photos you see are placing the slices inside surface up, because the outside surface looks exactly like, well…banana peels. I can’t decide whether this is surprising or not surprising. I think it’s both.

Who cares how it looks if it tastes good, though? It smells smoky and savory, but there is a distinct banana whiff. And the flavor? It tastes like banana peel marinated in soy sauce and paprika. Not as bad as I imagined, no weird bitter drymouth like you get from those strings you scrape off, but not much like bacon. I would never, ever serve this on the side of a meal, but on a sandwich it would be okay. Still, I guarantee you there will be a little bit of a banana flavor, and it’s a kind of super banana flavor, more concentrated than I expected.

The only place it might work? A vegan version of Elvis’ favorite fried peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwiches.

I wondered whether air frying would fix it and found this hilarious version from my idol Tabitha Brown:

iamtabithabrown

A post shared by @iamtabithabrown

“Oh no, not on MY birthday.”

So the answer there is no. But what are some recipes you could try to cut back on animal protein and food waste?

Swasthi’s Dal Fry freezes well, and it’s delicious.

I don’t love highly processed vegan meat subs, but this whole food, cauliflower and walnut “taco” meat from Pinch of Yum is easy and…yummy!

I adore Vegan Richa, and her sweet potato PB curry is surprising but accessible.

Save the planet, y’all. There’s nothing I hope for more. I’m just happy to report that you don’t have to eat banana peel bacon to do it…carrot bacon is where it’s at. It has a better texture, less fibrous. It also has lot less banana in it.

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